Sometimes we get into a place in our lives where we are completely tired of how things are going and what has been taking place. It's in those moments where we begin seeking out a change outwardly, not always recognizing that the change that has to take place start with us first. You see it's easy to go blaming this person and that person for how things are going. It's easy to be annoyed at that co-worker or that spouse of yours or the kids. What about yourself? What role do you play in this with your actions, your words, your heart posture?
I remember I would always be frustrated with certain people in my lives and I would take it into prayer. Like God, they do "x, y or z" to me. Do you want to know what the response would be? It would be God pointing the finger back at me and showing me what I did wrong and what needed to be corrected from my own actions. Here's the kicker, I wouldn't be the one who started any of this, but because of the role that I played in the interactions, God was checking me.
You see, he knew what was in my heart. He knew the habits that I had that needed to be addressed. he saw this as a perfect time to lay it out on the table for me. the reality is that I would buck back in arguments. I would scream and yell and make it worse. I wasn't always looking for a solution, but I often wanted to be seen as right. That was a major red flag that God was telling me about myself. How can I be in relationship with others, but this is how I treat them? I had to make it make sense.
Proverbs 21:2
People may be right in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their heart.
You see He didn't dismiss my complaint about what they had done to me. I needed to be held accountable for my own actions. I needed to know that how I was conducting myself needed to change because of who He was calling me to be and what I would be doing. Sometimes we don't realize that some of the things we are looking for haven't come yet because we have been processed in a particular area to receive it.
To be honest, I'm glad He did that because it helped me to adjust my attitude and my interactions with other people. I learned to slow down my own anger and to look at situations from a critical perspective instead. I was able to begin identifying where people were trying to gaslight me into being the old version instead of walking in my new.
Please know that this transformation was not overnight per se, but it was an ongoing practice for me. Daily, I was more intentional about my tone and I would read the book of Proverbs as well. Proverbs is where the game is at for those who are seeking wisdom and understanding about interacting with others. It was here where I was able gain new insights in different situations that arose. I would see scriptures that would show me why I needed to chill a bit more and just listen harder because there was more to the situation than what I could see.
Proverbs 13:16
Wise people think before they act; fools don’t—and even brag about their foolishness.
The more wisdom gained through experience and the word of God in prayer, the more I was able to adjust into a different version of myself. Now that doesn't mean that people didn't try me. They did. Those were the moments that i had to really pause and think about what was in operation here. Was God testing me? Was the enemy trying to make me fall into bad habits? Was I going to fall backwards for a temporary satisfaction of being right? Or was I going to stay the course.
this was the bridge that I needed to cross to show myself approved. That I had taken on the new version of me and that the old version is gone. It was the intentionality of being able to humble myself and remember that God was with me and that he sees the very things taking place. To know that I don't have to take on every battle, but He fights my battles for me. When you change your mindset on who you are in Christ and who God is in your life, you move differently. You carry yourself differently. You no longer try to do things from a carnal perspective because you realize that this is a spiritual battle and some battles are better fought in prayer and using the word of God.
Learn to put on the armor of God Ephesians 6:10-18 and understand the scheme of the enemy, and what God is able to do John 10:10.
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