Remaining Authentic To The Process

There was a point in my journey where I found solace in writing and in creating. As I took steps to turn those pages into words spread across platforms I soon saw how ugly people could be about the journey that you are embarking on. It wasn't until I was in the hotseat that I saw how manipulative people could be to get a word in on your journey because they felt entitled to what was taking place in your life.

It wasn't until I tried to bottle up my emotions that I saw bitterness and strife trying to creep up on the inside. I kept looking at them like this was not a place for them to call home. So what was I to do concerning the process that was taking place before me. I could choose to keep writing in a notebook where no one was around, or I could finally allow those pages to turn into something more profound.

I went with the latter on this one. I had to have known that by sharing my testimony was going to make people look upside down. It was going to put them in a place that would make it uncomfortable to stick around. That's exactly what I did. Not because I didn't need them around, but I needed to know that the message within the pain was far more valuable said out loud than sitting on the inside of the journal that I carried around. I needed to be reminded that the very journey I was on was connected to those who needed breakthrough of their own. That my silence would keep them from reaching their peak in this season. So, I opened my mouth and shared what had been on my mind.

Because in the season that I am in, I am no longer interested in borrowing time. I am no longer interested in trying to make this work out without allowing the testing of my testimony to be put on display. I know that faith without works is dead. If I have seen God move the first time that I shared, what would stop Him this time. I didn't want to go ahead of God, but in reality, I believe He had already gone ahead of me. It was just a matter of me being ready to go off into the deep.

So instead of trying to pretend like I had it all figured out, I'm willing to open my mouth and ask for help. Yes, I need to share this story because there is freedom in my writing and there is freedom in the place it will take me. So, remaining authentic to who I am and who I am called to be is in everything that I am doing and so much more.

If you can relate to no longer wanting to hide in the shadows of your former self so you can have the inner version of you unlocked, let me know in the comments below. This will be a season where we will be able to stand firm and tall in all that we do.